Humor

Why did the chicken cross the road?
submitted by Frank Ruscus

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. And No, I am not Gay!

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone, impotent

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

No this is not Bob Barney. Bob looks much older

GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? C=M where C is Chicken. Therefore E=CC2????????????????????

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

NBC admits bias toward Obama

NBC admits bias toward Obama

Quoting another network reporter, NBC's Brian Williams said today it's difficult to cover the campaign of Sen. Barack Obama objectively..more.....

Tags: obama

BREAKING NEWS STORY

HYPOCRISY, THE PRESS and BARAK!

by Robert R. Barney

Once again it seems we have stumbled across some more hypocrisy in media land. Can you imagine John McCain, or even John Kerry for that matter belonging to an all White Church dedicated to the advancement of white people and the European continent? Doing a Google search I found what purports to be Barrack Obama's Church. Snopes.Com agrees that it is his church and here is some of the beliefs that his church holds. The website starts off with "We are a congregation which is Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian... Our roots in the Black religious experience and tradition are deep, lasting and permanent. We are an African people, and remain "true to our native land," Other tenants that the website promotes about itself are:
A congregation with a non-negotiable COMMITMENT TO AFRICA.
A congregation committed to the HISTORICAL EDUCATION OF AFRICAN PEOPLE IN DIASPORA. (making themselves out to be like Jews)
A congregation committed to LIBERATION.
A congregation committed to RESTORATION.
The church has some commendable themes as well. For example they are Unapologetically Christian committed to Salvation (hopefully for non-blacks as well) but my mine theme here is that no White person, not even Hillary or Al Gore could belong to a church that preached "white" values.

Again, our news media has dropped the ball in exposing just what some people believe. They have no problem ridiculing what Mike Huckabee believes in, so theology is on the table! It is only Obama's faith that isn't questioned. I think that membership in this Church is not proper for a US Senator, not to mention a US President. Recently, we exposed what Mormons really believe in a story about Mitt Romney, it is only fair to do the same for Barak Obama

Here is the link, read it for yourself!

http://www.tucc.org/about.htm

Bhutto victim of Rice policy? -- This is what I told You 2 weeks ago!

Bhutto victim of Rice policy? -- This is what I told You 2 weeks ago!

by Robert R. Barney

Below is the link to a WorldNetDaily story blaming Secretary of State Rice and the Bush administration for Bhutto's death. This is exactly what I wrote about over two weeks ago now. (My former story is below the link). The number one reason why Bhutto was killed was American Foreign policy, or lack thereof. President Bush has been almost as bad as Jimmy Carter when it comes to understanding diplomacy and how America must react in the world today. He doesn't have a clue, and his EOE Secretary of Stae doesn't either!

http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=59544

 

Subject: What Recent Events in Pakiston Really Mean
Date: December 27, 2007
Author:   Robert R. Barney 

By Robert R. Barney

One of the first articles I posted on the Plain Truth was entitled "Why Is The Middle East Always Going To Be In YOUR Future?" (see older stories below). If you take anything away from this web site, I hope it will be that war in the middle east will always be in our future, until the return of Jesus Christ. Mainstream media just will not report what the Bible says, but if we are wise we should understand that the Bible is the source for much of the news headlines that you will read in the entirety of your lifetime. The assassination of Bhutto today is just another example.

The question now is what does this mean? My family well remembers the rants that I was doing at the dinner table several weeks ago when President Bush condemned Pakistan for putting Bhutto in jail. I said at the dinner table that she would never live to see any election. I was right, not because I am some prophet but because I guess I still have an ounce of brain matter left-- something this administration either lost or never had. When our government condemned the Musharraf government it gave the green light to Arab terrorist to kill Bhutto in an effort to cause a civil war in Pakistan and bring Islamic rule to the ONLY MUSLIM NATION WITH THE A-BOMB!  Bush went to war to stop terrorist for gaining weapons of mass destruction, cost trillions of dollars and thousands of lives only to potentially hand the bomb over to the same terrorist in Pakistan.

When will we learn that "strong men" like Musharraf or Marcos in the Philippines or even Hussein in Iraq are sometimes the best allies we have! We gave Marcos the boot and today we have Islamic terrorist running all over the place after 35 years of peace under "strong man" Marcos. The same fate is probably the future for Pakistan. Time will tell if I am right, but if Musharraf is killed or forced to flee, Pakistan will become a terrorist Islamic ruled state with the BOMB helped immensely by our inept government. Unless we are willing to wage total war, as we did against Germany and Japan and then willing to put in millions of troops to keep the peace and place a Mac Arthur in to run that peace with a strong hand, we should never expect to "democratize" a people. It will not work. Will we ever learn from history?

World War III will happen. If it will happen in our day or not, I have no idea. I do know that the last World War will happen IN THE MIDDLE EAST and an end time World Government (called Kingdom of the North)  will clash with the King of the South (a Muslim controlled empire of Arab and surrounding nations). The seat and power of this world government will probably be Europe and not America. Russia and China will not be a part of the of the North or the South kingdoms but will play a vital role in the last war on Earth.

America needs to learn the lesson that George Washington tried to teach our young nation back at our nation's founding. We must stay clear of foreign entanglements and be self sufficient as much as possible. There will be no end to the violence in the middle east in any of our lifetime. We are at war with muslim fundlementalist and we must fight them whenever and wherever we can and stop them from trying to kill us. At the same time, we must learn from our past mistakes and fight a total righteous war against terror and seal our borders until this threat is lessened. I pray this will happen, but I fear it will not. America will someday become a former empire and will be broken up and scattered (lev 26) and be a nation no more.

THE MOST IGNORED STORIES OF 2007

THE MOST IGNORED STORIES OF 2007

Exposing U.N. Corruption

EXPOSING U.N. Corruption MUST READ!!! CLICK HERE

100 Prominent Scientist Disagree with UN and now US on Global Warming!

100 Prominent Scientist Disagree with UN and now US on Global Warming! More..............