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FARK FRIDAY A new once a week feature, making comedy out of the news by www.fark.com . It'll brighten up your weekend.Click on logos $300 billion taxpayer bailout of Countrywide Mortgage in Senate right now. Brought to you by the senator who took $780,000 in "Friends of Angelo" mortgages from Countrywide. Nothing to see here, citizen. Move along |
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Afghanistan overtaking Iraq as focus of war on terror, according to analysts. And it only took seven years and 4,000 U.S. combat deaths to figure that out |
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Americans have driven 1.4 billion fewer highway miles than a year ago. This leads to a loss of tax funds that fix highway problems. Therefore, the roads are a mess because you are driving less. Isn't irony fun? |
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John Hinckley is a womanizer who juggles various sexual partners and even maintains "fondling privileges" with one lucky gal. Apparently shooting the president isn't as much of a turnoff as you'd think |
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Remember giving kids Near Beer in high school and watching them act like idiots thinking they were drunk? It's now being done to athletes with placebo steroids |
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AMA won't ban menthol from cigarettes because 75% of users are black. Kool |
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It's true: Your boss can make you sick |
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1998 story about doomsayer predictions of world oil crunch by 2010, complete with Bay Area residents complain about paying $1.31 for a gallon of regular unleaded gas |
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Is $500 a month and free gas enough to turn your vehicle into a hideous rolling billboard? |
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You know what this country needs? A complex system of variable, ever-changing speed limit signs so nobody can ever argue with the police about whether they've been speeding. Done |
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Concerned residents: Please test our DNA to rule us out in the murder case so you can find the real killer. Prosecutor: Thanks, suckers, your DNA is now on file labeled "murder suspect" |
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Here's a guaranteed ratings boost: Local TV station asks, "Are those hookers on Google Street View?"
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Westboro Baptist Church nutbars protest Tim Russert's memorial service, saying the journalist is now roasting in Hell. And we wonder what really gives Christianity a bad name!
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A report by Department of Homeland Security inspector found that FEMA is still incapable of doing anything efficiently |
