MY DAD!
My dad died almost ten years ago now. There is not a day that I do not miss him. He was a giant in my life, and unlike most of my generation, I didn't rebel against my dad, rather I was in awe of what he achieved! Dad was born in 1922, a time when America was a different nation. People had to rely on each other and nobody relied on government. Dad was born into a very large, but poor family. By age thirteen, he was forced to drop of the eighth grade to work on a farm. His older brother, by about a year or two, my Uncle Will, also had to drop out of school to work. My dad said it never bothered him at the time to drop out of school because he never was very good in school. He was good at baseball, and was a catcher. Dad told me it did bother him that his brother Will was forced to drop out of school because he loved school and excelled in his studies and made good grades. My uncle Will was for my father's entire life the single biggest influence on him beside my Mom, and I know there are times she wondered about that!. Here's why. Their dad, the grandfather I never knew died when they were young teenagers of a heart attack. It was the 1930's and the nation was in the grips of the greatest economic depression of all time. The large family was broken up. My dad, Uncle Will and their only other full-blooded sibling Catherine were "rented" out to work has hired slaves on another farm. My Dad's mother and father were both married before and each had other children from the other marriages, so only Will, Victor (my dad) and Catherine were full brothers and sister.
Their life was hard. They worked for room and board and a few cents for any "luxuries" in their life. I still remember learning how at Christmas time, Dad, Uncle Will and Aunt Kate, had to stay in the kitchen while the farmer's own children celebrated Christmas among themselves. The Barney children were workers, not family.
World War Two came and again it was my Uncle Will who volunteered for the Army in order to save my Dad from having to go. I understand that farmers were so important in those years that many times the government would leave at least one boy to farm as the other went of to war. Uncle Will fought in the Pacific under MacArthur and won at least one medal. I do not know much of his experiences in that war because he never talked about it to me EVER! Dad told me that he was one of the several hundreds to survive one island battle and spent several days hunkered down with Jap bullets flying only inches over their heads.
A world away, in Connecticut, dad's luck changed. I really don't know the whole story, but someone he ended up running a farm in South Kent, Ct while still in his late teens or early twenties for the sister of the Warner brothers! From poverty, dad was now running a farm, driving a luxury automobile and training expensive horses for a very wealthy family who took my dad in and forever helped change his life. Victor Barney was on his way out of poverty for good.
In 1944-45 dad began to work for the most influence woman in New Milford, Mary Weaver first woman to be elected State Senator from New Milford. Her step-dad, Andrew Barnes the "Ben Cartwright" of New Milford was wealthy, owned a large farm and heavily into politics. He was even able to get President Theodore Roosevelt to stop and make a stump speech. Anyway, Mary Weaver thought the world of my father. She saw the honesty, integrity and leadership qualities that he possessed and quickly made her a partner in the operation of the farm. The Weaver Farm, also known as Candlewood Farm was a part of Dad's life, and my life from then on.
Mary "sold" dad 15 acres of land for one dollar to build a home. He divided that land and gave half to his brother Will. Dad built our house himself with a 3,000 bank loan for materials. Dad could do about everything, from operating a farm, building houses and barns to become the boss of hundreds of workers at the Nestle company with only an eighth grade education! Most of his skills were handed down to my brother Bill, I unfortunately never have been that great a mastermind and handyman! Even after leaving the farm, going to work for the Nestle company, where he became plant foreman before retiring, we all still worked for Mary Weaver on the farm. I worked side by side with my dad and brothers planting and raising corn, tomatoes and all the crops that Miss Weaver would sell at her country stand, which was the very first farm stand ever started in the state of Connecticut back in 1928. Later, just before she died, she sold the farm to Kimberly-Clarke, the paper giant as a dump, to bury their paper waste. At only fifteen years of age, with the help of my father and family, I was able to securea verbal agreement from the plant superintendent to continue operating the vegetable stand. I started it in 1970. I put myself through college with thatlittle old farm stand, and it even helped finance my brother's college career as well (whatever the GI bill didn't cover). We worked on the farm together until my dad retired. Mom and Dad ran the stand for many successful years thereafter.
The story may be boring to those reading, but it is the story of my dad, who overcame insurmountable odds, worked hard and prospered in a time when hard work paid off, integrity meant something and your good name was the greatest gift you could take to your grave and leave to your family. Yes, it will be ten years this December, since I lost my dad, and I know many of you have similar stories about your dads, it is good sometimes to stop and remember what these men did for us an for this country. My greatest hope is that we can find these times again, and we can all be just Americans again. God Bless you dad, and to all the other dads out there, especially our one true Heavenly Dad!
RIP Victor L. Barney: September 10, 1922 - December 28, 1998
